New Year Resolutions: Exercise in the Time of Covid

Coming to you from the cyberpunk dystopia that will not end, a series of New Year’s Resolution-themed posts, because the only way out is through.

My fellow apocalypse-sters, you and I both know the importance of exercise. It keeps your meat sack in working condition, helps you sleep better, gives you energy, and can even boost your mood, which we all need these days, so desperately.

Remember when we used to go walking at the mall with friends? Or logging an hour on the elliptical at Planet Fitness? When we could learn Tai Chi in the park? Or maybe you’re like me and never did any of that?? Because exercise is hard to make yourself do under the best of circumstances and these are not even mildly okay circumstances. I don’t know about you, but my body is trying to become one with my couch these days, so I’m willing to try something.

If you, like myself, have hit rock bottom fitness-wise, you’ll be glad to know that SPL has a lot of online exercise videos through Kanopy, Hoopla, and the lesser known Access Video. Exercise videos are great – you just follow whatever the people on your screen are doing until you collapse into a sweaty heap, zero brain work involved. You can do Pilates Essentials, Bollywood Burn, or Dance and Be Fit. Find out what Jeanette is blasting next, may her body rest in pieces. You could even transform your entire actual life with yoga, according to Dashama Konah Gordon. This last one isn’t exactly an exercise video, but I couldn’t sleep at night unless I shared this Super Swordfighting Series for how to do cool movie sword fights. I think that would transform my life.

There are many very short videos that focus on getting a particular move exactly right, such as how to do a pistol squat, a bent-over row, or a bridge. You can even watch videos in progression to build your ability, from a wall push-up, to an angled push-up, to a regular one on the floor, so when you try it for yourself you don’t end up doing the worm.

If you’ve had enough cheesy workout music and are willing to do a little more brain work, you might try reading about how to exercise. Check out 2,100 Asanas: The Complete Yoga Poses and try and stretch ‘em all. Pop your lace collar and break a sweat in remembrance of the late, great, Notorious RBG in The RBG Workout: How She Stays Strong … and You Can Too! Holy Yoga: Exercise for the Christian Body and Soul takes yoga and adds a more Christian bent to it if that’s your cup of herbal tea. Apparently everyone should be stretching and working on achieving the flexible body because even the stiffest people can do the splits. If you can believe that then you could be younger next year.

I’m willing to try if you are. Maybe together, we can work it out. Leave a comment and let me know how you all have been fighting the sweaty fight. What’s worked and what’s ended in a mug cake.

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